There once was a lad called Aladdin, who had a magic lamp.
He bought it off a matelot who was fathoms up a tramp.
He bought it off a matelot, to see what he could get,
and he rubbed and he rubbed and he rubbed and he rubbed
but he 'aint got f**k all yet.

Fa la da daa, fa la de dee, fifteen annas one rupee,
feed of arse up a sycamore tree.
Poor bugger janner.

The sultan said to Aladdin, "My palace you will paint".
Aladdin like a big OD said "No I f***ing 'aint".
So he grabbed a pussers three inch brush and a pot of white enamel.
And he shoved them up the asshole of the sultan's favourite camel.

Fa la da daa, fa la de dee, fifteen annas one rupee,
feed of arse up a sycamore tree.
Poor bugger janner.

You make fast, kiss my arse, make fast the dinghy.
You make fast, kiss my arse, make fast the dinghy.
And we'll all go back to oggie land,
to oggie land
to oggie land.
And we'll all go back to oggie land,
where they can't tell suger from
tissue paper
tissue paper
marmalade and jam

OGGIE OGGIE OGGIE... OI OI OI.