Oi!

Two cannibals were eating a clown: One turns round to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?".
No, but seriously; have you ever wondered where they get the seeds to grow next year's crop of seedless grapes from?

Hey! A man walks into a chip shop and says 'fish and chips twice', man behind the counter says , 'I heard you the first time mate'.

My first week in the RN

HMS Raleigh, Torpoint, Cornwall. Nov 1969.

That's me on the right, and forget the cheeky smile....you wouldn't believe how badly that sea jersey was itching.

Foreign visit. (not sure where this was now).

On the Bridge wing with HMS Minerva's 1st Lieutenant, who was, by the way, one of the best Jimmys I ever had the pleasure to serve under.

HMS Laleston (Lollipop)

This is a 'Ton class' Minesweeper converted to a diving tender. She was a wooden hulled ship, powered by two Mirlees diesel engines. Ahh... happy days :)

This photo clearly shows the diving store, recompression chamber and the diving platform on the stern.

THE WOAD SONG

To the tune of Men of Harlech

Vests and pants and boots with laces

Spats or hats you buy in places

down on Brompton Road

What's the use of shirts of cotton

Studs that always get forgotten

These affairs are simply rotten

Better far is Woad

Woad's the stuff to show, men...

Woad to scare your foemen...

Boil it to a brilliant blue,

Rub it on your back and your abdomen.

Ancient Briton never hit on

anything as good as Woad to fit on

necks, or knees or where you sit on,

tailors, you be blowed.

Romans came across the Channel

all wrapped up in tin and flannel.

Half a pint of Woad per man'll dress us more than these.

Saxon you can waste your stitches

building beds for bugs in breeches.

We have Woad to clothe us which is not a nest for fleas.

Romans keep your armour...

Saxon your pyjamas...

Hairy coats were meant for goats, gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and llamas.

Tramp up Snowdon with your Woad on

Never mind if we be rained or blowed on.

Never want a button sewed on.

Go it Ancient B's

Thought for the Day

A pirate, history relates,
was scuffling with some of his mates,
when he slipped on a cutlass which rendered him nutless
and practically useless on dates.

HMS Minerva

This is one of the ships in which I served during my time in the Royal Navy.